Firsts
by The Elemental Shark
Summary: Motegi can’t just be a sleepy little kid forever...can he?


Notes: Gah. Writing this was painful at many times. Avoiding too much unwanted repetition is difficult, especially given the style, and doling out information is _hard_. (And just to be sure, Motegi is Belowski in the dub.)

And I _swear_, the release of this so soon after Euvany's "With Companions" (the only other Motegi-centric fanfiction out there, to my knowledge) is pure coincidence: I've been working on this since a little after Christmas, and only finished it recently.

Summary: Motegi can't just be a sleepy little kid forever…can he?

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh GX.

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**Firsts**

The first toy Motegi is given as a baby is a large plush sheep his ten-year-old sister, Shiori, painstakingly made herself for her newborn brother. It's light blue, more than slightly lumpy, and has a dazed expression upon its face as if half-asleep—and he absolutely loves it.

The first thing that comes to mind when Motegi thinks of his first birthday is the fact that it's the day right before his parents announce that they're getting a divorce.

The first word out of Motegi's mouth is a mumbled "Sleepy…" as his sister carries him to his bed. Despite his sleepiness a moment ago, he's not anymore because his sister's gasping and carrying him to their mother's room and whispering to them that _Mokeo finally spoke a word!_

The first hint that Motegi isn't going to grow up like a normal little boy is overhearing his doctor tell his mother that the fact that he looks like a three-year-old despite being six isn't because he's a late bloomer.

The first deck Motegi plays is full of dragons and powerful monsters, and he never loses with it. It's boring and not very special in his opinion, so after some work and a bunch of cards as a birthday present from Shiori, he switches to a new deck. He never loses with that one either, but it's a lot more satisfying to win with.

The first jeers about his deck follow on the change's heels. Ito Sayuri and her friends decide to make fun of him every day at lunch just because of his Moke Moke deck, and that's when Motegi decides he doesn't like girls that much.

The first clue that cards have their own spirits is a high-pitched sound as he draws a card in a duel. Nothing around could have made it, so Motegi shrugs it off until he looks down at the card he's drawn and he _swears_ that the Moke Moke just moved.

The first conversation he has with one of the Moke Mokes occurs when Motegi's nine, when Mom dies of cancer and Shiori takes him in while at university. He knows she has to study too, and that he's a burden, even if Shiori won't admit it. On the other hand, his monsters aren't troubled by him, and for that he's grateful.

The first impression Motegi has of Shiori's boyfriend is that he's a big sore loser when it comes to losing duels, and he has to wonder why Shiori likes him at all.

The first twisted game of matchmaker Kitami Shigekazu attempts to play with Motegi and Ito Sayuri has both Motegi and Sayuri avoiding Kitami and each other as much as possible. That's still not nearly as much as he wishes, given that they're all in the same class.

The first tournament he wins is just a regional one, nothing major or anything. The newspapers seem to disagree with him on this. There's a couple articles on his victory here and there, and all the attention gets to be embarrassing, in his opinion.

The first of Shiori's boyfriends that Motegi approves of turns out to be the one she ends up marrying; the day she and Masaru marry is right before the day he takes the practical part of his Duel Academy entrance exam.

The first words out of Motegi's mouth at Duel Academy are "No, I really am fifteen. I'm just small for my age."

The first first-year student to be promoted to Obelisk, to the surprise of many, is Motegi. People point at him a lot for a few weeks afterward, whispering about his appearance and his deck and his tendency to wear the Obelisk jacket hanging off his shoulders. When his friend Kenjiro mentions this, Motegi just shrugs it off as a personal quirk.

The first duel Motegi ever loses takes place at the Academy, near the beginning of his second year, to an imposing boy one year his junior. The victor brushes it off; his companion, a lively brunette in the same year, is hardly afraid to do otherwise. Motegi thinks it was pretty cool, too, especially when his opponent had managed so effortlessly to summon his Cyber End Dragon.

The first student Motegi beats after that loss becomes sleepy. He's only the first of a small epidemic. At first, people believe it's the bright, sunny weather as of late, hardly difficult to doze off in. After the third student leaves the Academy, though, the students are fearful and angry, the teachers are nervous and upset, the principal is defensive and pleading…and Motegi is just scared and confused, because all he wants to do is make friends, duel, and maybe catch a nap every now and then.

The first time his best friend, Kenjiro, backs away and runs off when Motegi approaches him is also the first time he's cried since Mom passed away seven years ago.

The first and only upside to living his little dorm (prison), Motegi remarks to himself when he gets there, is that his monsters seem to like it.

The first week after Motegi's transferred to his dorm marks what _should_ be the beginning of winter break. Because of the sleepiness, he's not allowed to go home. He can't see Shiori, who wrote in her last letter that she's pregnant now, and he's wondering how soon until he'll be home again, or if he might not return: if he's kept here because he might do whatever it is he does, what if it never goes away and he's stuck here for the rest of his life?

The first actually visiting visitor Motegi gets is Principal Sameshima, during the winter break. The visit mainly consists of the Principal apologizing a lot and explaining why Motegi's here in isolation instead of out at home visiting his sister. When he's done, Motegi doesn't have much to say, so the Principal leaves.

The first struggle to remember Shiori's voice, Shiori's face, Shiori's laugh, leaves Motegi wanting to curl up and die. And if he can't do that, then he'll settle for sleeping forever, because it feels so horrible and he doesn't want to feel like that.

The first letter Motegi dares to write, complete, and send off to Shiori is filled with happy nothings. Every time he tries to work up the courage to mention his fear, or the unfairness of having to stay in the dorm, he fails miserably. He doesn't want to worry Shiori, especially when there's probably nothing she can do.

The first of Shiori's letters arrives just a week after that. There are four of them, written long before he sent his own letter, each of them more worried than the last. She and Masaru have apparently been told about everything and want to visit him, she writes, but they're barred from doing so at the moment until more on his "condition" is known. They're both sorry, and Motegi's sorry too, but there's nothing anybody can do about it.

The first and only time Shiori visits, she explains, is possible because Kaiba Seto had been very adamant about not separating her from her little brother indefinitely without at least a goodbye. Her visit is short and bittersweet, and when she leaves he can't help wondering if this will be the last time he'll ever get close to home.

The first duel he participates in since being relocated to the dorm—a real duel, not one against some proctor resigned to falling asleep partway through a duel—is against a card spirit who calls himself "Kaibaman." Motegi doesn't _think_ he's Kaiba, not really, but he can't figure out how the man has all three Blue Eyes White Dragon cards. He tries not to look a gift horse in the mouth, though. That duel made him a little happier, because he ended up feeling better when he remembered that he still duels with the cards Shiori gave him a long time ago, and he'll never stop using them.

The first funny hazes in Motegi's mind mostly surround his early dueling. Thinking back, he can't remember what he used in that deck. Then again, he was seven at the time, so he probably just forgot over the years.

The first birthday Motegi spends in the dorm is passed sleeping, talking with his cards, and toying with the birthday present Shiori and Masaru have sent him, a collection of tiny pins in the shape of Duel Monsters like Moke Moke and Happy Lover.

The first realization that something's happening to him aside from the sleepiness occurs when Motegi looks at one of the Moke Mokes one day, and remembers that something important to him was linked with the card, but he can't quite recall what.

The first pins Motegi loses are the ones of Moke Moke and Happy Lover, which he lost track of the other day when he had to prepare for a test. The next day, he gets a letter from a strange girl named Shiori who knows his name somehow. She mentions a "Masaru" and a baby named "Mieko," but his mind is completely blank when he tries to remember who they are. His body tingles a bit, but that's it.

The first crowd of _anything_ he's seen in a year surprises him after he's just woken up from a nice nap. Kaibaman's there, along with the Moke Mokes, the Happy Lovers, Haniwa, Petit Angel—almost everybody from his deck, except for King Moke Moke, which is probably better because he's so huge. Kaibaman looks at him for a long time, shakes his head, and walks off. The others look sad and disappointed, and Motegi can't figure out why.

The first trip out of the dorm he takes since he was relocated is a duel with another student. Motegi ends up losing that duel. Oh, well. He was getting sleepy anyway, and the boy's Winged Kuriboh was very cute, too.

The first sign that anything's out of the ordinary at the Academy scares him out of his wits. Motegi is woken up to find his monsters screaming in agony and becoming tiny and shriveled, like salted slugs. He panics, naturally. The screaming and shrinking doesn't stop until an hour later despite all his attempts to help.

The first non-staff visitor to the dorm is a tall, blue-haired man with bolts in his head. Motegi has no idea why the man came, or how he knew of Motegi's existence, let alone where to find the dorm. He just challenges Motegi to a duel and talks about the light. When the man, somehow unaffected by the sleepiness, wins the duel, he just stares at Motegi, eyes glowing. Nothing happens, and after a few minutes the man screams in frustration, in a voice that doesn't quite sound right, and stalks off.

The first pro duelist Motegi duels is a man named Sombre Guerrero, on another vacation out of the dorm for a tournament. Motegi wins that duel, but he wishes the man hadn't gone to sleep.

The first itches in his mind start a few nights later, when Motegi happens across a pile of letters from "Shiori," and he gets the uncanny feeling that there's something about him besides the sleepiness.

The first of his dreams after that involves flickering images and a fuzzy voice, all static-y like it's using a walkie-talkie. He can't make out the words, but he's fairly sure the voice is vaguely female and sounds a little apologetic.

The first outing and mingling amongst other people that doesn't involve making people falling asleep is during his sixth year at the Academy, and then he's equipped with a wrist watch-type thing called a Dis Belt. He goes back to his dorm after that, exempt from the one-duel-a-day according to Principal Sameshima because of the sleepiness that still affects some people. He's sleepier than ever after that duel.

The first day-long sleep he falls into takes place a few days after he gets his Dis Belt. It's the middle of the night when he first falls asleep, so he's not too surprised that he's sleepy. When he wakes up, a frantic Angry Moke Moke shouts that he's been sleeping for thirty-three hours, he tumbles right out of bed and realizes that he's _still_ drowsy.

The first unaccompanied venture outside the dorm, when he's managed to stave off the sleepiness enough to dare to go out, surprises him. When he steps out, he notices that the island's changed. It's hard to miss, since that change is a gigantic crater in the middle of the Academy where the school used to be. After that, he begins to get drowsy again, so he goes back to sleep.

The first duel with an ordinary person that doesn't end in somebody falling asleep ends in a sort of clarity, like he's just woken up from a long nap. The next ones he wins without sleepiness end in a bubbly sort of giddiness that follow him all the way to bed, and for some reason he can't wait to be allowed out of the dorm for good.

The first word he manages to make out clearly in the dreams with the fuzzy voice is "sleep." He doesn't know whether or not he's surprised.

The first memories Motegi recovers are of Shiori and of his family (monsters included). They're just little things, but he remembers them all the same and immediately sets to reading the letters she's sent over the past four years. There aren't as many as he'd thought—only ten.

The first line of Shiori's last letter is _They tell me you have amnesia now, and though they've insisted that trying to help you remember is useless, they're allowing me this one last letter._ Motegi bursts out in tears before he's finished with that one line.

The first semi-coherent, non-tear-stained letter he manages to write and send probably makes him sound even younger than he looks, for all he's twenty years old by now. There's more to write after all the years of sleepiness than he expected, and despite the haziness in some of his memories of the past years, somehow he gets it all down.

The first hope of finally graduating is an offhand comment, made a few months later, by one of the proctors who test him, mentioning that "If this keeps up, the kid might be out of here in a few months." A few hours later, Motegi finds two pins he remembers he'd lost years earlier, before the sleepiness took over, and he wonders if it's some kind of sign.

The first glimpse of Shiori and Masaru and who must be Mieko and two-year-old Naoto sends him gaping, because Shiori looks so much _different_ now. He wants to run to them, but the best he can manage is a quick, slightly wobbly walk because he feels dizzy all of a sudden.

The first thing Shiori says him when they meet again is "You've changed, and you haven't changed, Mokeo."

The first of many realizations that he's half a stranger to his family by now hits him when Masaru mentions that the room he now occupies in Shiori's house used to be the guest room. He knows Masaru meant it casually and not harmfully, but he can't help but feel that he's intruding on them, like when he was nine and Shiori took him in while at university.

The first fuzzy voice dream he manages to _generally_ comprehend the meaning of is still slightly broken, but he's certain that the voice _is_ apologizing and that it involves a body, although he's not sure he wants to know what _that_ part is, specifically.

The first person he duels in the pro leagues is an eighteen-year-old former Academy student, three years his junior but looking five years his senior. She sneers at him and makes snide remarks about his age and appearance all throughout the duel, and he thinks that maybe not changing like Shiori said months ago isn't such a good thing after all.

The first familiar face he recognizes in the pro leagues belongs to the brunette boy with the Winged Kuriboh from his fourth year, Yuki Judai. Strangely enough, Judai is familiar with who Motegi recognizes as the boy who beat him in his first year, Marufuji Ryo.

The first opponent not to make fun of Motegi's appearance is Marufuji Sho, Judai's best friend and Marufuji Ryo's little brother. Sho actually sympathizes, being rather small himself, and advises him not to lose confidence despite what others might say. Motegi tries his best to take that advice to heart, but sometimes it's hard to, especially when he's not even confident the sleepiness won't return and he'll have to leave Shiori and her family again.

The first loss Motegi suffers makes him sleepy again, as he's feared for nearly two months now. He buries himself in his dueling and tries his hardest not to lose again. He's scaring Shiori and her family and he knows it, but if he can only stop the sleepiness everything will be all right, won't it?

The first message from the fuzzy dream voice that he can fully hear goes _Motegi! Motegi Mokeo! Answer me if you can. I'm sorry about all this time. I didn't realize what I was doing to you until a short while ago, and then the demon came and I had to hide. I've inhabited your body, hiding, for so long…you don't know who I am, do you? Oh, it's no use! He's not answering!_

The first girl outside of family Motegi ever particularly likes is Sasaki Suzume, a pro two years younger than he is, who uses a wind deck. She's funny and nice and doesn't mind the fact that he looks like a child, for all the girl from his first pro duel (Kondo Sayaka, who apparently considers herself Suzume's rival) jeers at her. "All the easier if and when you meet my parents," she jokes. "If you looked your age, they'd whisper to each other that since you're a pro and I'm a pro, we're a perfect match."

The first successful attempt at contacting the fuzzy dream voice results in him coming face-to-face with some kind of floating half-human child, looking maybe five years old at oldest, with pointed ears, blue hair, and a dark pink tail with a stripe the same color spiraling down to the end, like a baby elfin mermaid. "Motegi?" the girl asks. "Is that you? Oh, of course it is. I have a lot of explaining to do now, don't I?"

The first answers Motegi gets about almost everything that's been strange about him are finally given after over two decades, and as Nemuriko stutters out a hurried explanation about how she came to inhabit his body after being pursued, he feels lighter inside.

The first appearance of Nemuriko in his deck surprises him, because _he_ didn't put that card there, but he just shrugs and rearranges his deck afterwards. He's been meaning to tweak it a bit anyway.

The first person he dares tell about Nemuriko is Suzume, to his surprise. "I dunno whether to believe you or not," she shrugs when he's done. "On the one hand, the idea of being possessed by a Duel Monster running from another monster who wants a creature she commands is insane, if you ask me. The idea that that the creature makes you sleepy and amnesiac is even more insane. On the other hand, considering that two years ago my little brother got zapped to an alternate dimension and zombified, who am I to say what's insane?"

The first loss to not result in sleepiness gives him a sense of elation inside, despite the fact that he knows that eventually Nemuriko might lose control of Asa, the creature who's made him sleepy for all this time, especially after an upsetting loss. He has to keep control as well as he can, because according to her the slight instabilities in his mind after losing had disturbed Asa enough for him to radiate the sleep-waves without her noticing.

The first major downside Motegi finds to having a card spirit hiding in his mind, aside from the sleepiness, is the fact that she's also there when Motegi's going to the bathroom. Nemuriko assures him she doesn't look at times like that, but it's still embarrassing.

The first pro league tournament Motegi wins gets people to start noticing him as a capable duelist instead of a small child. After that, people start looking at him more, and a few more people want to talk to him. It's hard at times, because a lot of people ask why he looks so young, and that's the one big thing about him that can't be explained by Nemuriko.

The first time he thinks to ask Nemuriko why she's continued to hide inside his body after all this time, she pales almost immediately, babbling something about awakening. Motegi presses her for details, and he doesn't like the details.

The first person he meets after that he can't help but stare at, trying not to imagine Dark Ruler Ha Des possessing him and going after Nemuriko. When Motegi's not staring at the person, he's staring at the clock, trying to guess exactly how a Timeater jumps across time, like Nemuriko explained.

The first comment a spectator makes about how he's spending so much time with Suzume does not go unpunished. He's a little wary of Suzume afterwards, because while what she said about him was really nice of her, what she said to the spectator was really _not_ nice.

The first challenge to a duel outside of the pro leagues makes him jump, because he's expecting Ha Des anytime now that Nemuriko's awake and trackable inside him. To his relief, the challenger turns out to be just another pro checking out Motegi's strength after he'd come in second in a particularly difficult large tournament.

The first suspicions that Ha Des truly _is_ lurking around somewhere stem from a remark of Suzume's, noting that Kondo hadn't declared her eternal hatred for Suzume for an entire week. Motegi's almost a hundred percent sure a week later, right up until the point where he duels another pro from his year, nicknamed "Elite-kun," and he spots Ha Des floating behind the boy, grinning maniacally.

The first card he draws in his duel against Ha Des is Nemuriko. Motegi can't find it in himself to try to feign surprise.

The first attack Nemuriko wages against a monster leaves Motegi gaping. He's never suspected that Asa might look anything like a _snail._

The first thought that runs through Motegi's mind after Ha Des summons himself is "I wonder if anybody else can see Nemuriko cringing."

The first time Nemuriko is destroyed, Motegi winces. It's half-inevitable, because Nemuriko only has eight hundred attack points while Ha Des has over two thousand, but it doesn't help the stinging he feels inside his body.

The first attempt to bring Nemuriko back from the Graveyard results in her promptly getting destroyed again via a trap card. It'd be almost funny if it weren't for the fact that she and Asa are counting on him to win.

The first Moke Moke he draws goes almost unnoticed by him, because he's trying not to imagine what might happen to Nemuriko and Asa should he lose. Soon he starts remembering the sleepiness from when he was at the Academy, and then he feels like smacking himself over the head, remembering that people affected by the sleepiness had often repeated "Moke Moke…" when asleep. Now, if he can only figure out what exactly _that_ means.

The first draw after he manages to get Nemuriko and Moke Moke King together on the field together nearly makes him yelp, because he doesn't remember having _that_ card before, but it works just fine.

The first smile in the entire duel breaks out onto Motegi's face follows almost immediately. "I play the magic card Magical Alliance!" he declares. "This lets me halve a monster's attack or defense points if I have at least one Fairy- and Spellcaster-type monster on the field, and I choose Ha Des's attack points!"

The first sensation Motegi undergoes after Ha Des's Life Points drop to zero is a dizzy lightheadedness and a breezy wind in his head. He hears a light whisper of "Thank you," and he knows that after over twenty years, he's finally alone in his body.

The first person to greet him after he stumbles off the duel arena is Suzume, who thankfully catches him and leads him outside. "What happened?" she asks when he's recovered a bit, and he gives her the story.

The first question Suzume asks after he relates his story to her is not a denial of his sanity or truthfulness, but a straightforward "So what are you going to do now?" And despite the simplicity of the question, Motegi has no answer.

The first real action he takes over a week of deliberation, but at last Motegi announces to Shiori and her family that he intends to move out and renting an apartment of his own.

The first goodbyes he and Shiori exchange as he leaves a month later are bittersweet, in some ways not unlike the time she'd been allowed to visit him in his dorm at the Academy when he was sixteen, but at the same time they're distinctly different. He's grown, Motegi realizes. Somewhere along the line, he's changed since leaving the Academy (his recent growth spurt says as much physically), and while that doesn't mean he doesn't love his sister anymore, that doesn't mean he can stay so attached to her, either.

The first month after that sees him dueling in a major tournament, and when he looks into the crowd, he sees all his friends and family there: Shiori and her family as well as Suzume, Judai, the Marufujis, and a number of other Duel Academy students he knows who aren't competing for whatever reason. The memory of that sight keeps him going, even when Kondo begins to taunt him again.

The first full comprehension of his victory in the tournament hits after four or five hours. The celebration's going on since he won, and the trophy's right there next to him, but it's somehow too giant a concept to wrap his mind around easily.

The first non-congratulatory, non-tournament-related thing he hears is a question from Suzume, asking him again what he plans to do now that Nemuriko is gone and he's moving on. He considers his answer, and at last replies, "Duel. Make more friends, and keep up with the ones I have. Everything I planned to do in the future, back in that first year in the Academy, because that future is now, isn't it?"

The first kiss Motegi's ever gotten from anybody besides Shiori is just a peck on the cheek, but it leaves him red-faced and stuttering. Suzume laughs. "Don't take it _that_ way," she reminds him. "Remember what happened with that one guy a month ago? I wasn't lying, you know. Come on, you have some celebratory cake to eat, Mister Champ." He follows, still blushing slightly, but eager for some cake.

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End notes: Nemuriko, Ha Des, and Timeater are all real monsters, though I've tweaked Timeater and Nemuriko slightly (based on name and flavor text, respectively) to accommodate the plot; Magical Alliance is a made-up card, because I was stuck for a card. (I tried to keep it believable and non-situational, though a lack of dueling knowledge makes it a little harder.)


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